July is the second annual National Child-Centered Divorce Month!

The following article was cut and paste from a google alert I received on children and divorce. As an advocate for children of divorce for five years now, I was surprised to find out just now that July is National Child-Centered Divorce Month. The goal is to protect children from post-divorce parental conflict, so that parents continue to work together to do what is best for their children, rather than putting their children in the middle and forcing their children to take sides. Although I have published it before, I am going to repost the Child of Divorce's Bill of Rights and the Child's Advice for Divorcing Parents in honor of this very special month. Children in a New York chapter of the Banana Splits program came up with this advice for parents.

If as an advocate for child of divorce I was not aware of this month's designation, it is clear to me that many, many others are unaware that July is National Child-Centered Divorce Month. I will do my best to promote this special month and it's purpose year-round, and I will also educate others about this special designation next year. For more information about child-centered divorce, go to www.ChildCenteredDivorce.com.

Bill Of Rights For Children Whose Parents Are Separated/Divorced
* The right not to be asked to "choose sides" between their parents.
* The right not to be told the details of bitter or nasty legal proceedings going on between their parents.
* The right not to be told "bad things" about the other parent's personality or character or behavior.
* The right to privacy when talking to either parent on the telephone.
* The right not to be cross-examined by one parent after visiting the other parent.
* The right not to be asked to be a messenger from one parent to the other.
* The right not to be asked by one parent to tell the other parent untruths.
* The right not to be used as a confidant regarding the legal proceedings between the parents.
* The right to express feelings, whatever these feelings may be.
* The right to choose not to express certain feelings.
* The right to be protected from parental warfare.
* The right not to be made to feel guilty for loving both parents.

Child's Advice for Divorcing Parents - Compiled by children in a NY based Banana Splits chapter with group facilitator, Dr. Jill Greenstein.
* Spend alone time with all your children.
* Tell the truth and don't break promises or lie.
* Don't fight, yell, etc. in front of your children -- it makes your children scared and worried.
* Help your children with their homework.
* Share important information with your children.
* Listen to your children and pay attention to them.
* Have patience with your children and try not to get too angry.
* When you're angry, try not to take it out on your children.
* Communicate your feelings.

Advice for Parents and the Bill of Rights were reprinted with permission from Jill Greenstein.

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Child-Centered Divorce; Focuses on Kid’s Needs (article reprinted from an online press release)

Divorce can be particularly difficult for children whose parents announce suddenly that they are to split and in this nation of soaring divorce rates it’s no wonder that that topic is so widely discussed. Too often it seems, parents caught up in their own emotions, sense of loss or frustration, use their children as bargaining chips in a game of who is right or wrong; mom or dad. Children’s need should be put first however when going through such times to ensure that the child or children of a family going through transition realize that they are loved and that the divorce has nothing to do with anything they said or did.

July is National Child-Centered Divorce Month and will witness professionals from various fields coming together to share important parenting messages to help parents put their kid’s needs first when making decisions related to divorce or separation. Therapists, educators, attorneys, the clergy and even coaches will participate in this summer’s initiative, the second annual of its kind.

National Child-Centered Divorce Month was started by author and single parent Rosalind Sedacca to help create a positive parental structure for moving forward in the relationship realm while keeping the needs of the children involved in a split first and foremost. One of the most valuable parenting messages put forth is “Don’t Make Your Child a Pawn in Your Conflict.” Important messages to share with children include telling the child that none of it is their fault, both Mom and Dad still love them and always will, and that Mom and Dad are taking care of things with the child’s best interests in mind.

The statistics on divorce can be daunting yet outlets exist for making sure children’s needs are met. This July, and throughout the year, organizations and individuals are working to ensure that parents make the responsible decision to keep children out of their adult quarrels and differences of opinion and instead provide the love and caretaking children need to thrive.