Sunday, July 6, 2008

Congratulations, Jenny & Gary Sung! ~ Deciding to Marry vs. Sliding into Marriage

As I typed the title of this post, at first I thought I ought to clarify that this is not pageant-related, but instead an important and special event in my cousin's life and for our family -- but then it came to me immediately that this is what my mission as Mrs. Oklahoma is about: lasting love; a satisfying, wonderful marriage; the beginning of a wonderful new life together and a beautiful new family for my cousin, formerly Jennifer Lee Bowers, and her new husband, Gary Lei Sung. Bobby and I just got back from our trip. We were only gone from two days, but we made the trip to Syracuse, NY to see one of my favorite people in the world get married.

The wedding was beautiful and romantic. It was elegant, classy, and fun yet formal. It reflected Jenny & Gary perfectly and wonderfully. The maid of honor Dana Lyons said in her speech, "When something is meant to be, you just know it," and Gary's little brother David talked about his love and respect for his older brother and how he (David) knew that there was something special about Jenny when Gary came to him for advice for a change. Gary is a likeable guy. He's good-natured, laid back, open-minded and handsome. I've looked up to my cousin Jenny since we were kids -- she stands up for what she believes in, she's funny and fun without making fun of people, and she's beautiful on the outside and on the inside, where it really counts. Jenny has always had a strength of character that I admire and strive to emulate. I see the same qualities in Gary. In listening to his little brother talk about him, I felt even more that this match was meant to be. Jenny, if you read this, I want you to know that you were a beautiful bride -- the reception was lovely and your doggie Panda coming down the aisle was adorable and refreshing! I'm so happy for you both and I love you! Your ceremony was beautiful and romantic, and a beautiful beginning to your new life together. I know I keep saying beautiful -- but it is the word that keeps coming to mind, because it truly was beautiful in every sense of the word. You two have to visit Tulsa sometime soon! Love you cousin!

Another thing that struck me was Jenny and Gary's nervousness. In talking with them, neither expressed any nervousness about the marriage, but the public walk down the aisle and speaking before a large group of friends and family made them both a little anxious. Apparently, there was also something wrong with the microphone. We weren't able to hear most of the ceremony, but Jenny and Gary did. Their officiant spoke just to them. And they said their vows for each other, and not anyone else. I think the fact that it was so much more private in this way made it even more beautiful.

When we marry, we must do it just for us. People should not choose to marry because it seems to be the logical next step in a long relationship, nor should they marry because of social pressure to marry. We must choose our partners. We must decide that we want to spend the rest of our lives with each other. That requires some maturity and knowledge of oneself -- so that you can decide who you want to be with, as your lover, friend, partner and companion, for life. So many people today slide into the decision to get married. They'll save money on rent so they move in together. Then they live together for a while, and feel like it might be time to get married. But they never really choose each other. So many couples end up divorced because of lack of this conscious choice and decision to be with their partners for life. Often, young teens get married for the wrong reasons. Many children of divorce get married to fill a void, to prove to themselves that someone really loves them. Others get married because of social pressure from religious institutions. They say that love each other when really they lust after each other. They get married in order to conform to social norms, only to find that sex and lust are not a solid foundation for a lasting love. Marriage requires mutual respect, friendship, compromise, and the ability and willingness to act lovingly when we don't feel like acting lovingly. I chose Bobby on September 7, 2005 when he asked me to marry him, and I said yes. I choose to love Bobby every day. I choose to care for him, love him, support him, and cherish him, just as he does for me. He's a wonderful, good, generous man and I love, respect and admire him. That is now what Jenny and Gary have. :)

Congratulations to both of you!

I will post pictures as soon as we upload them! I'm exhausted from our trip. I'll write again soon!

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