Wednesday, August 6, 2008

OKC Banana Splits and Visiting Bartlesville Kiwanians

Wow! It has been an eventful couple of days. Tuesday morning I drove to Oklahoma City to speak with Diane Ray about starting a new chapter (or two) of Banana Splits for inner city children and youth, and today I spoke at the Downtown Bartlesville Kiwanis meeting about advocacy for children of divorce and the Banana Splits program.

It feels wonderful to know that I am sharing this message and that people are hearing it...and wanting to take action to start new Banana Splits chapters. It is an exciting time for children of divorce because we are finally going to get these children access to the support services that they deserve! The time to help children of divorce is now.

On my way to see Diane, just a few miles from my intended destination, my car broke down. My cell phone screen said "emergency only", and I was already feeling lost, so I stopped to call her from a pay phone to let her know that I was lost. Then, as I was backing out of the Conoco station, my battery died. I was stranded half way across the state from home, but Raul the gas station attendant and some very nice young men, two of them on a cross-country road trip, helped me to contact my husband, get my car started, and get back on the road to Tulsa before the battery quit a second time.

Diane was very understanding, and offered to drive to Tulsa to meet with me about starting her new Banana Splits chapter. Diane, her friend, and three beautiful little girls met me at my house last night, and we talked for a long time about the need for the program, implementation, and our own family backgrounds and reasons for wanting to help children from changing families. Diane communicated that the majority of children participating would not come from families where the parents had divorced, but from single parent homes in the inner city. Many children do not even know both of their parents, much less interact with them both on a regular basis. While Banana Splits was designed with children of divorce in mind, children raised by single never-married parents, children who are raised by grandparents, children in foster care, and even some adopted children feel the same anxiety and uncertainty because of their lack of a parent figure or lack of stability with regard to family identity. Diane and her young friends left my house, with "Getting Started with Banana Splits" materials in hand, after 11 PM, only to face a two-hour drive home. I am so grateful for her enthusiasm and compassion for these children. Diane is seeing a need and meeting it. While I don't know what it's like to be an inner city kid, with all of the accompanying insecurity concerning gangs and street violence, I know a fraction of what it is like to come from a hurting family. I'm looking forward to working with these children and getting to know them. I am already inspired by their strength and courage, and we haven't even met yet!

Immediately thereafter, I put the finishing touches on my powerpoint for the Bartlesville Kiwanis meeting. I went to bed thinking, "How can we convince volunteers, who donate many hours to great causes, but who are also often stretched thin by their many commitments, that these children need our help and that they should find the time to do something about it?" I asked my husband and he said that he didn't know. I slept on it and woke up with a new idea. I made a few changes to my presentation (to include more insight into what the process of divorce is often like for these children and parents) and then hit the road. After getting lost for the second time in two days, I finally made it, at noon on the dot. :) I gave it my best college try and found a warmth and concern from the Kiwanians that was encouraging and inspiring. Charles Moll expressed his desire to do more concerning promoting and working with Banana Splits state-wide. The Kiwanis president shared that supporting children from changing families through programming might be a great option for an Oklahoma-Texas Kiwanis service project.

I am going to work on my proposal and get it to them soon. When I think of all of the possibilities, and all of the children that these volunteers may help, I feel excited and motivated to work hard to pitch this well, to explain what we intend to do and the program's benefits, to the 'right people.' Sometimes it saddens me that the title is needed to open doors, but for me and for these children, the title has opened so many doors and I am now talking with people who are motivated to help youth become the very best that they can be. I am so grateful for these opportunities and the interest and enthusiasm of those I have met. I better go and get back to work! I'll write again soon!

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