Mrs. Tulsa 2010 is Mrs. Green Country 2011!

I'm excited to announce that I've been selected to serve as Mrs. Green Country 2011!

It's going to be a great year! I have a wonderful new sponsor in Tulsa Gold & Gems. I've been invited to be a part of so many wonderful service projects and benefits for wonderful causes in the Tulsa area. Things with Blended Love are taking off faster and better than I could have ever imagined (thanks to my awesome Lord and Savior, a fabulously talented partner in Monica Epperson, and a brilliant, excited, passionate board of directors).

I find myself overusing the words "excited" and "wonderful", using far too many emoticons and using even more exclamation points. I'm bubbling over with joy at the things that God is doing for children of divorce, teachers, and families this year. Bobby and I have begun conversations about having a baby (not this year, but possibly next), and I have a very clear idea of God's plan for me now, although I don't know His timeline. While it was initially scary knowing so much (I was so afraid that I was going to ruin God's plan), God has been teaching me to rely on Him completely and trust Him more and more. It has been a challenge for me as a typical child of divorce but also very freeing to let go of my fears and rely completely on the Man in charge.

Regardless of what happens at the Mrs. Oklahoma pageant this January, I'm devoting myself to serving others, continuing my work with the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative & Kendall Whittier, Inc., and expanding the services and working with Monica on strategic planning for Blended Love. This is the season for service and growth. This season is about family and relationships. My Mrs. Green Country title is simply a vehicle that will allow me to further my mission and be a blessing to others.

While I still desire to be Mrs. America, I'm focusing more on the service that God created me for. I want to be the best Mrs. Green Country this region has ever had. I want to leave a legacy and be a blessing. Mrs. Oklahoma or not, I have complete faith that this is going to happen. Then, when I meet the state pageant judges on January 22, I am going to share my passion with them and see what happens.

I'd like to thank my wonderful husband Bobby Townsend, my fabulous friends & family, Spencer Fisher of Tulsa Gold & Gems, Gary & Ann Murphy and the fabulous team at New Day Media, Rachel Flint of Corinthian Fitness, Aspen Athletic Club at 61st & Memorial, Eddie Tillis and the Mr. Body Fat gang, Amy Moore of Men's Wearhouse, Ilquia Anderson, hair & make-up artist, Monica Epperson & the entire Blended Love board of directors, Amanda Carter, Kendy Cox, Liz Silva, and the entire team at the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative for your support and belief in me. I honestly wouldn't be able to compete without my generous sponsors. All of you remind me why I continue to compete.

Sometimes, the pageant world is far from pretty (a few ugly people can ruin the experience for so many), but when you have the opportunity to really make a difference and develop relationships that exceed your wildest expectations, the positives outweigh the negatives. I remember Nicole Johnson, Miss America 1999, speaking on stage at the Miss University of South Florida pageant about the $13 million she had raised for diabetes research -- and I still want to make a difference like that, 11 years later. I can't think of a better vehicle to spread my message of supporting children of divorce and strengthening marriage through relationship education than the title of Mrs. America. Thank you again for your support! God bless you and your families!

My Mission Statement: Supporting Families & Addressing Divorce

So many people just don't get 'this pageant thing' that I do. I compete because the little bit of celebrity status the title provides me allows me to reach many more people with my cause of supporting families and addressing divorce.

Relationship Education
I want more individuals to know what a healthy relationship looks like. I want them to feel empowered, to know that healthy relationships aren’t just for some people who came from picture perfect homes, but that healthy relationships are for them. I want more people to take advantage of the awesome opportunity to get a free research-based, skills-based education on how to build and nurture a healthy relationship. I want that love we feel on our wedding days to last. For that reason, I encourage every individual and every couple to seek out the free relationship workshops offered by the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative. We have Forever. For Real. for couples, Within My Reach for singles, Relationship U for college students, and many more programs for teens, for couples with new babies, for stepfamilies, for incarcerated individuals, and for many other groups…There are too many to list! I want everyone to know that “forever” can be “for real” and not only that, but we personally can make our relationships satisfying and lasting. For more information, go to www.okmarriage.org and www.foreverforreal.com.

Divorce Support For Children and Families
I also want to increase access to divorce support programs for youth.

My parents divorced when I was 13 and it was very difficult for my sisters and me.

Blended Love is an outstanding organization that provides real services for children of divorce. Our goal is to equip these children to deal with change in healthy ways. We have three programs to allow us to reach that goal. In our first program, we provide library resources for children, teachers, and staff about dealing with changes in the family structure. In our second program, Calm Classrooms in Turbulent Times, we teach teachers how to support children of divorce and children from changing families in their classrooms. Finally, we work hands-on with the kids in our research-based Things Change Journal Program. Through reading and writing, we help all children learn to cope with change in healthy ways.

My goal is to reach as many children and teachers as possible with Blended Love programming.

You Can Help!
You can help by writing or calling your principal or superintendent. Tell them you want divorce support programming at your school. You can also help by purchasing founder Monica Epperson’s children’s book, A Heart With Two Homes. One hundred percent of the proceeds go to Blended Love.

You can also help by educating yourself, investing in your marriage, and teaching your children to do the same. OMI programs are free – so there is no excuse! LOL When it comes to the most important people in our lives, there is always more to learn.

You can become a volunteer for Blended Love, or for the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative. We are always looking for reliable, passionate volunteers who share our values and have the best interest of children and families at heart.

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Some people have said that my goals are too broad -- that as Mrs. Tulsa, I should choose one cause or the other. But I refuse to choose. We need relationship skills and support for families now more than ever. I hope you will join me on my journey.

Being Mrs. Oklahoma is All About ...

Many people have asked me lately, "What is Mrs. Oklahoma all about?" These are people in the community, potential contestants and even some pageant skeptics who don't understand what I'm doing and why. I thought I'd post what I believe it takes to win and what I believe being a titleholder is all about.

Yes, I competed in a pageant, and yes, there is an element of beauty to the competition. In evening wear and fitness, which account for 50% of the total score, contestants are judged on poise, physical fitness (including muscle tone and proportion), and grace. Many times people are shocked that the "most beautiful contestant," in their eyes, did not win. What these people are forgetting is (1) beauty (or poise, or proportion) is subjective and (2) that the other 50% of the final score comes from private interview, and that interview is based on a community service platform. In other words, the interview is primarily based on what the woman sets out to accomplish during her year of service, her ability to persuade others and communicate her message. I believe that I won the Mrs. Oklahoma title because of my passion for my platform, my action plan for making a difference in Oklahoma, and because I was also well-rounded in the other categories. This post is for the ladies who want to know what it is actually like being Mrs. Oklahoma. Here are my two cents.

WINNING
also known as
What are the judges looking for?

• The woman whom they feel most comfortable with.
  
• A woman who is natural (i.e. not fake).
  
• She is confident and comfortable in her own skin. This is reflected in interview as well as in her stage presence.
  
• A woman who has clearly set goals and accomplishments with regard to her platform.
  
• She is a proactive, persuasive woman who wants to make a difference and sees the title as a vehicle to better herself and reach her service goals.
  
• She is not necessarily the most beautiful contestant, but she takes pride in her appearance. She is well-groomed and makes flattering wardrobe choices.
  
• She is fit and makes health a priority.
  
• She puts other people at ease (including the judges), and she realizes that you can be Mrs. Oklahoma and Mrs. Congeniality.
  
• She is intelligent and articulate yet warm and approachable.
  
• She is chosen to be a spokesperson for the pageant and for her cause.
  
• Her job description is what she makes it -- it centers on her platform and the national platform, and the ability to represent her pageant and all of pageantry in a positive light.
  
• She knows her job description. She knows why she wants to serve as a titleholder and what she intends to do once she is the titleholder. She realizes that winning the title is an honor, but serving as Mrs. Oklahoma is a job. It is a fun job with many perks and many responsibilities, but it is a job just the same.
• She shares the values of the International organization which center on marriage, family and community service.
• For our organization, family and career obligations are always put first, so you can be as active or inactive a titleholder as you would like, although Mrs. Oklahoma is required to make at least one appearance per month.
  

MY YEAR SO FAR
also known as
What does my job entail?

As for me, I'm trying to be the best Mrs. Oklahoma that I can be by

1. Speaking to children about their families through classroom presentations, showing them tangibly that they are not alone and that there are ways to help themselves feel better after divorce.

2. Speaking to school principals, guidance counselors, child care providers, and clergy about options regarding divorce support groups for youth; in particular the Banana Splits program. Then I give them the tools to help establish new programs.


3. Preventing the problem before it starts as a relationship enrichment workshop leader for the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative, promoting OMI's programming, and teaching "Relationships 101", PREP-program highlights adapted for teens and young adults.

4. Supporting the national platform of Go Red for Women, teaching women about better heart health, joining the movement, and taking better care of my heart for myself and my family.

5. Speaking to children and youth through classroom presentations about self-esteem and goal-setting, overcoming obstacles, and leadership.

6. Appearing and supporting community events and programs related to children, families, and other causes that mean a lot to me, in an effort to bring greater enthusiasm and excitement for these causes. (Organizers typically like to have Mrs. Oklahoma's support.)

In order to accomplish these goals, I read the local periodicals (Oklahoma magazine, Tulsa People, Tulsa Kids) and contact event organizers to ask if I can be involved. I also contact school officials (for example, the director of counseling, superintendent of schools) about speaking in the schools and establishing new school-based programs. I promote my platform and the pageant via the blog, website, Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter, as well as the local media when appropriate. I receive and read "google alerts" about the Banana Splits program, children and divorce, and Oklahoma Marriage Initiative to keep abreast of the latest news regarding my platform. I design and order promotional materials at VistaPrint to hand out to children, teachers, counselors, and other potential volunteers about divorce support and divorce prevention.

When obstacles arose for my platform goals, I sought to overcome them. For example, the original Banana Splits leaders' manual included activities and a description of the program philosophy but left the lesson plans up to the group leader. Counselors and teachers found that writing lesson plans was too time-consuming with their other commitments. I addressed this by writing 12 lesson plans for the first 12 weeks of the program. They are easily adaptable to the specific group at the school and are ready to use so that volunteer group leaders can start quickly and make changes easily.

Hit the books

When I first became involved in the divorce support cause, I spent a lot of time doing library research about divorce and remarriage, the effects of divorce on children, and the efficacy of divorce support programs for youth and relationship enhancement workshops. I have read over 50 books on the topic and own about a dozen children's books about coping with parental divorce. I use these in the Banana Splits program. This is an excellent way to get to know your platform, and I highly suggest that aspiring titleholders spend some time in the library.

I continue to look for opportunities to promote my platform and speak to large audiences about the topics above. First and foremost, Mrs. Oklahoma is a spokesperson. As my friend Janitha posted on her myspace page, "Beauty captures attention, but personality (and substance) captures the heart." The sparkling tiara gets people's attention, but then you must have something worth-while to say. At the OMI event just a few weeks ago, a woman came up to me and shook my hand. She said, "You're more than just a pretty face," and I am very grateful for that. Mrs. Oklahoma International is always more than just a pretty face. Service is what our pageant is all about.

What about work, school, family, etc.?

As Mrs. Oklahoma, family and career always come first. For example, last semester, I completed my Master's report, which is basically the capstone project for the applied math master's degree at the University of Tulsa. I am proud to say that I completed this project, but I also devoted less time to promoting my platform and my Mrs. Oklahoma title when I was writing this paper and teaching classes at TU. I still participated in the Ms. Senior Oklahoma pageant, Macy's Shop for a Cause, a TU football game (as the national anthem vocalist), Catwalk for a Cause, a fundraiser for a nonprofit for single moms and Bartlesville Christmas parade, and had several meetings with principals about Banana Splits that semester, but I did not focus the time and energy on my platform that I am focusing on it in now. That is completely acceptable and preferred. The pageant leadership encourages us to prioritize our family and career above the service opportunities as Mrs. Oklahoma.

I admit, being Mrs. Oklahoma has been a lot of hard work for me, but it is also absolutely wonderful and very fulfilling. There were many days when the dishes weren't done immediately and the laundry started to pile up, but my husband has been extremely supportive at home, and he supports my desire to make a difference while I have that little bit of the spotlight that the title offers me. I have signed over 1000 autographs this year. I have had four radio interviews and three television interviews. I have spoken to over 800 people about my platform, and I have grown tremendously as a result. I have learned to balance my work, my family and social obligations, and my service to others while keeping my priorities and schedule in line with my values. I have also learned to calm my perfectionistic tendencies and forgive myself for not being able to do it all and do it all perfectly well. God doesn't expect perfection, and I don't expect perfection from other people, so I've learned to forgive myself, laugh at myself, do my best, and strive for excellence. I haven't lowered my standards. I have simply changed my attitude toward my imperfections.

Please realize that you don't have to be as active as I am. You can be as active or as inactive as your schedule, lifestyle, and priorities allow you, as long as you meet the minimum requirement. I have spoken with titleholders who chose to stay home with their children rather than make an appearance, and to me, those women have their priorities in exactly the right place. Families must always take priority. This is consistent with what Mrs. International stands for.

My husband woos Vice Presidential nominee
Governor Palin at the Tulsa State Fair! LOL

Earlier this year, I had an appearance on Friday, another on Saturday, and my husband's birthday on Sunday, the last day of the Tulsa State Fair. All Bobby wanted to do was to go to the fair and eat a corndog! (He had also had dental surgery recently and was looking forward to non-blended "real food"). I was supposed to grade a stack of exams and I was about half-way done. I could finish them on time at the expense of my husband's birthday, but there was no way I could go to the fair and finish the exams by 5 PM. My supervisor allowed me to grade the exams to be handed back on Wednesday rather than Monday. Family comes first. I will never live it down with this particular professor, but I still believe I made the right choice. Your year as Mrs. Oklahoma will be full of choices like this one, and I hope that you will always choose to do what is best for your family.

Being a Local Titleholder

Your year is what you make it. Serving as a local titleholder is your opportunity to practice being the state titleholder, so in addition to preparing for the interview competition, working on your fitness and choosing a gown that makes you feel like royalty, I encourage you to get out there and make a difference. Use your local title to promote your platform in the way you intend to use your state title. As you speak to youth, fine-tune your message, research your platform, discover unmet needs and attempt to meet them, you will become a better role model and spokesperson for your cause. Whether you take home the state title or not, you will have won.

Keeping this in mind, I wish you the best of luck on your journey, to not only win the title, but to become an amazing Mrs. Oklahoma (or Miss Oklahoma, or Miss Teen Oklahoma). Good luck and let your light shine!

Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise Your Father in heaven. - Matt. 5:16

All Work and No Play? Hardly!

After reading what I wrote above, I realized that while everything I wrote was true, it made being Mrs. Oklahoma sound like all work and no play! Yes, it is tough, but the media interviews, fashion shows, charity galas, the autograph signings for little children, classroom speaking engagements (which are a lot of fun at any school), letting little girls try on your crown, hula-hooping for fitness :) at the Tulsa Women's Living Expo, going to nationals and touring Chicago, and sharing a laugh, stories, and good times with the many new friends and contacts you meet as Mrs. Oklahoma are some of the many memories that will last a lifetime! The Oklahoma International pageant family is a sisterhood, and we have all become great friends even in the midst of competition.

Being Mrs. Oklahoma is hard work but I have laughed more and met more wonderful people this year because of my title. So...Is being Mrs. Oklahoma all work and no play? Hardly! Dressing up, being a goof-ball when appropriate :), and meeting wonderful people make the year not only fulfilling, but fun!

Searching for the Next Mrs. Oklahoma

Reposted with permission:
On April 26th, the new Mrs. Oklahoma International will be crowned at the Seretean Center in Stillwater. Representing the best of what Oklahoma has to offer, she will head to Chicago in July to compete for the title of Mrs. International 2009.

Just who is Mrs. Oklahoma International? "She is a woman who believes in family, marriage and community service," says Lauri Rottmayer, Executive Director of the Pageant. Mrs. Oklahoma International is not just any ordinary competition or pageant! The participating women have careers inside and/or outside of the home. The unifying theme they share is "A platform issue"; a cause, a passion or a relevant social concern they pursue to bring awareness to the Oklahoma community as a whole, which will be their focus during the year as Mrs. Oklahoma. The women generously support family values, schools, non-profit organizations and community groups. They contribute to these causes for various reasons pertaining to their marriage, family, friends or personal experiences. The competition salutes them for their contributions to their community. Without them, many social issues would not be addressed.

The heart and soul of the International system is to make a difference in the lives of others through each contestant's choice of a platform or issue that they promote. In 2008, International Pageant Group joined forces with the American Heart Association's Go Red for Women movement to unite women in the fight against heart disease. Go Red for Women celebrates the energy, passion and power we have as women to band together to wipe out heart disease and stroke. The Oklahoma International Pageants are now in the fight against heart disease, the No. 1 killer of women in America. This involvement in the movement can help save lives of mothers, sisters, aunts, daughters, grandmothers, best friends, and other women just like you!

Beginning 21 years ago, Mrs. International® was developed to have higher standards than other pageant systems. The very first woman to wear the Mrs. International crown, was Rhonda Berglan of Oklahoma. The focus behind Mrs. Oklahoma International® is to showcase women 21 to 56 years old, married at least six months and a resident of the state. Each contestant competes in Interview Competition, which is valued for 50% of her overall score, Evening Gown, valued for 25% and Fitness Wear for 25%. Each contestant has the opportunity to select a platform of her choice that she spends the year promoting. Husbands are a direct part of the show, escorting their wives in the Evening Gown competition, and the husband crowns his wife titleholder. Mrs. Oklahoma 2008 is Sasha Townsend. Who will be the next lucky woman to wear the crown?

So who will be Mrs. Oklahoma International 2009? Will she be you?

For information about the pageant or to enter, please visit www.TheMrsOklahomaPageant.com .