Monica Epperson, the lovely founder of Blended Love, an organization dedicated to supporting children of divorce through the classroom, has asked me to contribute to a new blog. This blog is a project of Blended Love, and is titled,The Child of Divorce:
We are the voice of children who have gone through a divorce.
We were once "the child of divorce."
We are the voice of children who have gone through a divorce.
We were once "the child of divorce."
Our goal is to use this blog to share our stories and experiences, to speak up for those children who are living through divorce and its aftermath right now. We want to show these children that they are not alone. We want to help other adults understand or remember what was like -- so that we can in turn remember that children of divorce need our support and attention. Children of divorce need to know that it's okay to speak up, and that many adults have had painful childhood experiences and go on to great successes in life. Many of us have experienced a trial or challenge or obstacle and use those experiences for good. I think God allows us to experience pain so that we can relate to others. When we've suffered, we're given the opportunity to be a blessing.
When I was asked to contribute to the The Child of Divorce blog, I began to worry. I began to worry about my parents, about sharing too much. I worried about how exposing my vulnerability will be seen, by some, as exposing weakness. The child of divorce I once was even worried that I would be seen as unfit, unworthy, to become Mrs. America, because of the conflict I witnessed and the pain I had been through as a teen. I realized that the children of divorce we strive to help can relate to that too. They worry about being labeled. Being lovable. Being normal. One ex-boyfriend's mom once said to me, "Sasha, you are just the picture of resiliency!" I realized that sharing, and soon following that sharing with real techniques on how to cope in a healthy way and feel better, was the best thing I could do for these kids.
I'll include my mom in the process too. I want to be certain to honor my parents, while being honest about what the divorce was like for me, and what it was like for my two younger sisters. I have no idea what it is like to be a divorcing parent. I can only speak about my experiences as a child of divorce. I called my sister Jade this morning and she had one experience that stood out to her. It was Easter Sunday. I'll share it with you too. There are so many unspoken stories. We say with a smile, "I'm fine. I have two sets of parents now!" The reality is that in some ways, we were fine, but in other ways, we were definitely not fine. I hope my willingness to share will give others the courage to speak up and do something to support children after divorce.
When I was asked to contribute to the The Child of Divorce blog, I began to worry. I began to worry about my parents, about sharing too much. I worried about how exposing my vulnerability will be seen, by some, as exposing weakness. The child of divorce I once was even worried that I would be seen as unfit, unworthy, to become Mrs. America, because of the conflict I witnessed and the pain I had been through as a teen. I realized that the children of divorce we strive to help can relate to that too. They worry about being labeled. Being lovable. Being normal. One ex-boyfriend's mom once said to me, "Sasha, you are just the picture of resiliency!" I realized that sharing, and soon following that sharing with real techniques on how to cope in a healthy way and feel better, was the best thing I could do for these kids.
I'll include my mom in the process too. I want to be certain to honor my parents, while being honest about what the divorce was like for me, and what it was like for my two younger sisters. I have no idea what it is like to be a divorcing parent. I can only speak about my experiences as a child of divorce. I called my sister Jade this morning and she had one experience that stood out to her. It was Easter Sunday. I'll share it with you too. There are so many unspoken stories. We say with a smile, "I'm fine. I have two sets of parents now!" The reality is that in some ways, we were fine, but in other ways, we were definitely not fine. I hope my willingness to share will give others the courage to speak up and do something to support children after divorce.
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