Leadership 101 at Stillwater Middle School

Mrs. Smiths' 6th period leadership class

Mrs. Smiths' 5th period leadership class

I had a wonderful day today with three classes of middle school students in Ms. Erica Burns' and Mrs. Robin Smiths' classrooms, and I had a great time! The students were very well behaved, listening attentively and participating when I asked them questions. I hope the students had as great a time as I had. :)

We had three very interactive sessions where I learned about these students' goals and dreams, their desires to make a difference in their immediate communities, and how they can take that vision and turn it into an action plan as leaders. Specifically, I spoke about inclusion - including everyone because everyone has something to offer - and using the collective strengths of a group to meet a common goal. We talked about being role models and inspiring others by example, about staying away from substance abuse and other bad behaviors, practicing good hygiene and health habits so that we're healthy and able to make a difference, and being faithful and dependable in the little things so that we can be trusted with more responsibility. If you want to be class president, you have to be faithful in doing your homework! If you want to babysit, you have dependable when it comes to cleaning your room! By being faithful in the little things and doing your very best with these smaller tasks, others see that you can be entrusted with larger tasks. You can be entrusted with the responsibility and honor of leading a group, whether that means becoming class president, a teacher, or president of the United States.

I also had several students ask about the pageant, and if I would be stripped of my title should I make bad choices. I explained that some women in pageantry do make bad choices and that can happen-- but that it wouldn't happen to me because I wouldn't make those choices. I should add here that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but a poor role model should not be in a position of leadership in my opinion. I talked about how I got started in pageants, and what the pageant is actually about. I also spoke about Mrs. International and how I arrange my schedule with regard to my private life and my "Mrs. Oklahoma" life. I sang the national anthem in one class (I may see a few students at the Tulsa Driller's game on April 16), and I spoke about the leadership role of Mrs. Oklahoma. I also talked about math, the math teacher who inspired me to pursue math (Mr. Pink, Blake High School's AP Calc teacher back in 1999-2000), and I agreed with one student that women can do everything that a man can do -- and similarly a man can do everything a woman can do. There is nothing wrong with a female pro-wrestler (the students were joking about that one) or a male ballet dancer. Everyone is free to be who they want to be.

I hope that the students learned what it really means to be a leader, at least by my definition. I gave them my definition, an adaptation of a definition given to me by interview coach Don Baker years ago:

Leadership is giving of yourself to inspire and help others, often in meeting a common goal.

• Leaders are motivated by giving, not taking.
  
• Leaders act on their beliefs (They don't simply talk about it -- they actually do something!).
• Leaders focus their attention on the people they want to help and the service they want to render, rather than focusing on themselves.
• Leaders are good role models, who see the best in people, and who recognize and act on opportunities to serve.
  
• Leaders take a vision and dream of a better future to the next level by inspiring others by example, including people of diverse backgrounds, strengths and weaknesses, and pooling those strengths to meet a common goal.

Of course, this is easier said than done, and one doesn't begin in a position of leadership. I see this often in pageantry and even in myself. We have lofty goals and lofty vision for the future, but we must have the humility to start small, build trust, skills, and a reputation of dependability, and over time we will become leaders of many people who make a measurable difference in the world. We can't expect to jump into a position of leadership without first showing that we are dependable. Hopefully, as our responsibilities increase, we remain confident yet humble, and remember to keep our eyes focused on giving, rather than what we receive in return or what labels we acquire as we serve in leadership positions. For me, my faith plays a huge part in this. I want to love God and love others by serving people and God Himself. It is my hope that the students were able to take away a few simple facts: that they are worthy, that they are special, and that by including everyone and seeing the best in people, they have the power to do great things, but they must do them together. No person can achieve greatness alone.

The students were sweet and attentive, and Ms. Burns and Mrs. Smith were welcoming and gracious. I hope the students learned something, and I hope to return to their school again soon!