Saturday at the Tulsa Women's Living Expo

In our time at the Tulsa Women's Living Expo, 428 people joined the Go Red movement! Lauri, thank you so much for giving so much of yourself to organize and staff this event! Here are some photos from the Go Red & Oklahoma International pageants booth. Enjoy them and stay tuned for more photos! Also, you should know that there was a corn dog incident...and it's really funny! Next time we see each other, ask me about it!

Friday at the Tulsa Womens' Living Expo

With my director Lauri Rottmayer,
at the Go Red for Women booth

It's never too early to establish good habits!

Two young ladies sign up for Go Red,
and promise to live heart healthy for life.

Talking with attendees about making healthy choices

Today I joined my director Lauri Rottmayer at the Go Red for Women and Oklahoma International Pageants booth at the Tulsa Women's Living Expo. We had over 85 women and men sign up to be a part of the movement, receive a red dress pin, and learn more about living heart healthy lives.

We heard many stories about how heart disease had affected women and their families; many of them described doctors' misdiagnosis of heart attacks in women, and women who refused treatment, stating that they "were fine," they were "just tired," or simply "suffering from mild indigestion." One in three women die of heart disease. That statistic used to be one in two women, but the awareness efforts of the American Heart Association, Go Red, and the millions of women who have decided to take control of their lives and talk to their loved ones about the cause, reduced that startling statistic to one in three. We are hoping that someday soon, it will be one in five or one in fifteen, and eventually we hope to wipe out heart disease, not only in women but in everyone. So many health problems are preventable and it begins with you. As women take care of everyone else in their lives, we must remember that we won't be able to care for everyone else if we're no longer there. You cannot provide for everyone else's needs if you're no longer with them. Love your hearts, ladies, for yourself and also for the people you love.

Tomorrow I will be at the expo center for day 2 of the Womens' Living Expo. I hope to see you there!

Fox News Daybreak

With Ron Terrell of Fox News Daybreak

This morning, I was interviewed by Ron Terrell of Fox 23 News Daybreak, and I spoke mostly about my work with the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative and the role of Mrs. Oklahoma. It was a lot of fun and a great experience for me. Thank you Ron and the Fox news team for giving me another venue to share this important message.

Couples: Communicate your expectations, protect the fun stuff, and learn the skills you need to handle uncomfortable issues productively. Many people are out buying cards, candy, and roses, but what could be a better gift than a blissful, life-long marriage? Forever. For Real is not just for married couples, but for any couple who wants to enrich and improve their relationship. I hope you'll find a free Oklahoma Marriage Initiative-sponsored workshop near you today. Visit www.ForeverForReal.com to find a workshop. Just like our ads say, marriage now comes with instructions.

Ms. Hatch's Fourth Grade Class at Wellston Elementary

Earlier this month, Heather Rouba, Mrs. Oklahoma County America 2009, contacted me about speaking to elementary school students at Wellston Elementary. Heather and I have the same platform and the same mission, to advocate on behalf of children of divorce and help couples create healthy, happy marriages. We also have one more thing in common: we are both adult children of divorce. She and I had been corresponding for a while so it was wonderful to finally meet her in person! I also spoke to the school principal about implementing a chapter of Banana Splits, and he is interested. Hopefully, a teacher or other school staff member will feel moved to do this and children of divorce at Wellston Elementary will begin to get the help they need after divorce.

Today I spoke to a classroom of fourth graders about the tough issues of divorce and remarriage, about feelings and how to cope with them, and also about self-esteem and goal-setting. Then I spent quite a while signing autograph cards (many children asked for an autographed photo for their brothers, sisters, and even parents!). I shared my personal story and encouraged the children to make good choices and set goals to make their dreams a reality. Every student participated in our conversation and I think they learned a lot about coping and making their dreams come true. I also had more than one conversation about 'being famous' and about whether or not my crown is 'real.' :) I said, "It's made of real rhinestones." :) The children were adorable and insightful and I appreciate their candor. Many children told me that their parents are divorced and that they were glad that we talked about it -- It's a tough issue, and I wished that I could talk to them all in more detail, but hopefully knowing that Mrs. Oklahoma is someone who has been there and experienced what they experienced helps them to realize that even though it can be hard, that it doesn't have to hurt forever and that they can still make their dreams come true.

Heather and I will be back at Wellston Elementary on March 11 to speak at a school-wide assembly. I'm excited and nervous about the prospect of this (I've never spoken to an entire school before!) but I'm certain it will be fun! I also hope that we will implement a program at Wellston. I think it is wonderful to be a role model, but I think it would be even more wonderful to leave a legacy. I want all children get the help they need after parental divorce, whether I'm there to speak with them or not. It's exciting to be a part of change like this, disheartening to hear that almost every child in that classroom is struggling, but encouraging to know that we're trying to do something about it.

At an OMI event, a volunteer told a story about a man who was throwing star fish back into the ocean. A storm had brought in many star fish, and left on the shore they would die. One at a time, the man threw one star fish after another into the ocean. Someone approached him saying, "Surely, you know that you won't be able to save them all. In the grand scheme of things, your attempt won't matter." Then, picking up another star fish, the man responded, "It will matter to this one." I know that we won't be able to reach every child in Oklahoma, but what we do will matter to individual children and individual families. That makes it all worth it.

Speaking and Sharing at Forever. For Real. Tulsa

With Dr. Howard Stanley, Dr. Scott Markman, and Natalie Jenkins,
the team of researchers who created PREP

Saturday afternoon, I drove from Bartlesville to Tulsa to speak and share my platform with the attendees of Forever. For Real. The workshop leaders for the presentation were none other than the PREP team, Dr. Howard Stanley, Dr. Scott Markman, and Natalie Jenkins, the team of researchers who created PREP at the University of Denver.

I was happy to share my message and what I have been doing as Mrs. Oklahoma. I spoke about my motivation to compete and to promote my platform, the various service projects and presentations that I am currently working on in Oklahoma, and a little encouragement: to take what they learn in this one day event and apply it to their lives. The skills and techniques learned at PREP really work, if you use them. I explained that Bobby and I use them and that makes a big difference in our relationship.

With Bob Davis, the initiative's Oklahoma City-based

community relations specialist

The staff of the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative was wonderful as always. I adore Tulsa area service delivery coordinator Amanda Carter, and I was glad to meet Bob Davis, the OMI community relations specialist based in Oklahoma City. Bob works on several projects that target the African American community in OKC. Hopefully, he and I will be working together soon.

With Amanda Carter, our Tulsa area community relations specialist

I also met and took a photo with the creators of PREP. I fear I may have been a little juvenile with them -- There is just something about people who dedicate their lives to life-changing research and help desimminate the results that fills me with awe, and respect, and maybe makes me a little giddy if I'm being completely honest. I hope to study, research, discover, and share the truth in that way, whether we're talking about families or the latest advancements in applied math. It was fun!

After presenting more people than I can count came up to me to ask for information about the teen and young adult presentations, the Banana Splits program, and Forever. For Real. Couples, please communicate about your expectations, do your part to nurture the good stuff (fun, friendship, sex), and learn how to handle touchy issues in a productive way. All of these concepts are explored in PREP. To find a workshop, visit www.ForeverForReal.com. To become a volunteer workshop leader, visit www.okmarriage.org.

And that's not for an 'OK' marriage but for an exceptional one.
Ha ha...I had to make that joke. It was too easy. :) I'll write again soon.

Breakfast Benefit for the Samaritan Counseling Center

With Mrs. Oklahoma International 2007, Brooke Good,
after she gave a moving speech about her platform,
"Sexual Child Abuse: Overcoming the Nightmare"

Saturday morning, February 7, I drove to Bartlesville to share my support for the Samaritan Counseling Center at the Daughters of Lot breakfast. The Daughters of Lot organization provides counseling services to sexually abused women. They chose the name "Daughters of Lot" because of the Biblical reference. Lot tried to give his virgin daughters to an angry mob and later, in their confusion, the girls had incestuous sex with their father. Daughters of Lot recognizes the confusion, sadness, and pain that women experience after abuse as well as the consequences that go along with that, and provides real help in much needed counseling services.

Mrs. Oklahoma 2007 Brooke Good was a victim of sexual child abuse, and she shared her story. She explained that sharing this "secret" is a key to moving past sexual abuse, and she shared a highlight of her year as Mrs. Oklahoma, talking with girls who experienced what she had experienced. It was a moving, personal, beautiful speech. Brooke is wonderful and had the whole audience in tears, ready to donate and support this important cause. Although we don't know each other well, what I know of her, I love. She is a very courageous person and has done tremendous things. I was glad to attend the event and support her in a cause that should be in the forefront of every person's heart. We must protect children from the kind of abuse that Brooke suffered, and when we cannot protect them, we must help them move through the pain to healing and finally hope. Here are some photos from the event.

Brooke, sitting across the table, with a big, beautiful smile!

With founder of Lighthouse Mission in Bartlesville, Naomi Hill

A woman thanks Brooke for sharing her personal and heartfelt story

Brooke and me with our director, Lauri Rottmayer

With Brooke after her presentation

Mrs. Frazier's Kindergarten class at Wright Elementary

Aren't they adorable?

We talked about different kinds of families,
feelings, and achieving our dreams.

After my interview, I decided to stop by Wright Elementary school. I had spoken to guidance counselor Tim Frazier about implementing a program for children of divorce several years ago. While that never did pan out, I worked with students on a one-on-one basis. I returned to the school as Mrs. Oklahoma, hoping to establish a program for children of divorce. Principal McCain kindly gave of her time when there didn't seem to be any, and we are in the beginning stages of establishing an after-school chapter of Banana Splits.

While waiting for Mrs. McCain, two little girls saw me in the office. "Are you a real princess?" they asked. I responded, "Well, I'm not a princess per se, but I am Mrs. Oklahoma. That's kind of like being a princess from Oklahoma." "Where's your crown?" one little girl asked, and I said, "It's in my car. Do you think I should go get it?" They gave me an enthusiastic yes! I ran out to my car and grabbed my crown box. When I returned to the office, Denise, the school nurse, escorted me to Mrs. Frazier's kindergarten classroom, where I finally showed them my crown. They passed it around the room, and I gave an imprompty presentation about their families and their feelings, and what it is like to be Mrs. Oklahoma.

Then it was time for them to return to their school work, and I met with Mrs. McCain about Banana Splits. She shared her concerns: We would not take away from academic learning time to initiate another program. I agree with this wholeheartedly. As an educator myself, I know the students need to learn the basics of math, science, social studies, and English and that should be the school's number one priority. Still, I explained that the family lives of these children are affecting their ability to meet their academic potential. Children of divorce are distracted by their lives at home, and are more likely to act out, have learning difficulties, struggle with concentration, or have some other physical manifestation of anxiety, such as stomach aches, bed wetting, or hair pulling. Situationally, I've known one child who couldn't concentrate because she was worried about her mom. I know a young boy who started wetting himself at school. He was made fun of because he smelled bad, and he had to wear clothes from the lost and found. One of my sisters rebelled and the other began pulling out her hair. It doesn't have to be this way. We can help these children by teaching them ways to properly handle negative emotions. We can give them age-appropriate coping skills where they are right now.

I explained this to Mrs. McCain and we talked about ways to meet this need without taking away classroom time. I would lead a Banana Splits chapter at Wright in the after care program. Most children from single parent homes were already in after care, so it seemed to be the perfect place to start.

I'm excited about the opportunity to help children at Wright. Out of all of the children in Mrs. Frazier's kindergarten class, only three came from intact families. Please remember that commonality does not equal easy, especially for children that don't have the added perspective of years of experience. The time to help children of divorce is now. I am grateful to Mrs. McCain and mr. Frazier for the opportunity.

NewsChannel 8 Interview on Good Day Tulsa

With the wonderful Keith Taylor of NewsChannel 8

What a week it has been! On February 6, National Wear Red Day, I was interviewed by Keith Taylor of Good Day Tulsa about the International organization alliance with the American Heart Association's Go Red for Women, as well as my personal platforms of advocacy for children of divorce and divorce prevention. (By the way, I wore my super-cute red patent leather pumps! Adorable! You can get yours from a national Go Red sponsor, Macys.)

I had a great time! In all of my appearances as Mrs. Oklahoma, I have to say I felt most like royalty in this appearance. Keith and the Good Day Tulsa team were friendly and kind, and encouraging when I felt the little butterflies that come before any recorded interview. It's funny -- I am most nervous about speaking in front of a camera. I can't be sure why, but I think it has something to do with leaving evidence of my speaking (or lack of speaking) ability when I want nothing more than to communicate my message with passion and sincerity, while representing all married women in Oklahoma, and all women who compete in pageantry, to the best of my ability. Talk about pressure! It's fine without the camera, but once there is that evidence, the pressure is on! But I do believe in what I say and I ask for God's peace, and I think that combination enables me to speak sincerely and share my message. For that I am very grateful.

Keith asked me about the Mrs. Oklahoma pageant, Go Red for Women, my motivation to help families after divorce, and some of the projects and presentations I have been working on. I shared that I am presenting "Relationships 101," a teen and young adult adaptation of the PREP curriculum, as well as "Family Matters" a condensed, modified version of Banana Splits for the general elementary and middle school classroom audience, in addition to my work with the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative and Banana Splits.

Keith and I had also talked before we went on about Katie Stam's anchor school video and the role of Mrs. Oklahoma. I explained that while we do receive a very nice prize package, there is no car, there is no fancy apartment or modeling contract for winning Mrs. Oklahoma. Mrs. Oklahoma is a volunteer service position, in which the titleholder must be proactive. We do this because we are passionate about our causes. We do it because we love it. This year, I have become a specialist in public relations, website and other graphic design (for promotional materials), as well as an advocate, volunteer, teacher, student, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and spokesperson. It can be glamorous but it is hard work. The title is primarily about giving, but the truth of the matter is that you gain as much as you give. This is not about staring at your tiara-adorned self in the mirror, but about making a difference. The year flies by faster than you think. I feel that as titleholders we have a responsibility to break pageant stereotypes, and that begins by sharing what being a titleholder is truly all about. A master's degree in math doesn't hurt either. :)

I am very grateful to Keith Taylor and NewsChannel 8 for the hospitality as well as the opportunity to share my message and my passion with a wider audience. I have already had several veiwers contact me about speaking in their schools or helping establish a program for children of divorce. If one family is a little bit stronger because of this work, I feel that I've been successful. I have many more appearances coming up, so stay tuned!

Rose Day at the capitol, Stillwater schools...

It has been a busy week, but I have had a wonderful, wonderful time! On Wednesday, I went to capitol, wearing my crown and sash, in an attempt to bring visibility and excitement to the cause of protecting the unborn child. I admit that this cause is controversial and many people disagree with me, but I felt personally obligated to stand up for my convictions and encourage everyone, from Oklahomans for Life volunteers and supporters to our state legislators, to support life. I must use the title to bring awareness to causes that mean the world to me and I hope that those who disagree with me will respect my decision to do so. I stand for life.

I met many pro-life Oklahomans and encouraged them to keep fighting the good fight, and I also spoke to several women about their passions for various causes. One woman spoke to me about her desire to speak up for victims of domestic violence, which is in keeping with the anti-child abuse platform of Mrs. Oklahoma 2007, and another woman spoke to me about keeping families together. I also spoke to many people about advocacy for children of divorce and divorce prevention, and I believe that my message was well-received. Awareness is growing, and with more awareness of the cause and awareness of our ability to do something about it, we will finally act for children of divorce. That has been my greatest gift (to give and to recieve) as Mrs. Oklahoma. I met many little girls and boys who wanted to meet a real-life "princess" and touch the crown as well. The children are always a joy and the very reason why I do what I do and say what I say.

I asked my state legislators to support HB 1595, an abortion-reporting bill, that will lead to studies measuring the prevalence of abortion in our state, the reasons that abortions are sought, and the resulting complications. Additionally, the bill monitor compliance with our existing abortion statutes, and will prohibit abortions performed for purposes of sex-selection.

I also met many state senators, representatives, and other government officials (I don't want to try to name them all for fear that I will leave someone out!), but I will say that Senator Bryce Marlatt asked me for an autographed picture for his daughter Cloey, and I said I'd be more than happy to! Senator Marlatt is pro-life.

HB 1595 is the principal pro-life priority for the 2009 legislative session. The bill's authors are Representative Dan Sullivan and Senator Todd Lamb. See the post below to read more about the bill and to identify your legislators.

Later the same day, I went to Stillwater and spoke to principal Uwe Gordan at Stillwater High School and counselor Susan Sinderson at Stillwater Junior High School about making relationship education presentations for their students. Relationships are so important, and like communication, it just something that we are not generally taught in school. I will be making presentations at Stillwater High School in late March and early April, and while I'm in the area, I also hope to speak at the elementary, middle, and junior high schools.

My message to kids is this: You are not alone, there are ways we can help ourselves feel better, and no matter what kind of family you come from, you can still make your dreams come true by making good choices now. You can choose to handle the ups and downs of life in healthy ways. Teachers, we can guide the children so that they understand what is happening to their families. When life gives you lemons, made lemonade. As for the older students, I want them to learn relationship skills, know that they can choose their partners, and how not to slide into a bad or unhealthy relationship. You can decide to have a better relationship than your parents had. It's all about education, awareness, and effort -- in one word, choices. We can choose to learn from our parents' mistakes and successes, and we can learn from the family science research. Healthy, happy families are possible and it all begins with making a conscious effort to educate yourself and be good to your partner on purpose.

I will blog again soon about my NewsChannel 8 interview this morning and my impromptu classroom presentation at Wright Elementary School here in Tulsa. But as for right now...I have to go to class!

Rose Day at Oklahoma Capitol Wednesday

The annual pro-life lobbying day, Rose Day, will be held this Wednesday, February 4, at the state Capitol in Oklahoma City. The Rose Day program will be held at 11:45 a.m. in the House Chamber.

Rose distribution begins at 10:30 a.m., prior to the Rose Day Rally, on the 4th Floor Rotunda. Participants are encouraged to bring and deliver a red rose to the office of each of their legislators encouraging them to protect the lives of the unborn and ask those who are not pro-life to support pro-life issues. District maps and listings are posted near the registration tables to help with ease of finding offices and legislators. After Rose Distribution, the Rose Day Rally will begin at 11:45 a.m. in the House Chamber. Legislators who attend the rally in support of life will be recognized.

The morning will be devoted to visiting state legislators, urging their support for pro-life legislation here in Oklahoma. (The fourth and fifth entries under ID Your Legislators at www.OKforLife.com will identify your state senator and state representative.) Please come and show your support for the unborn child. I hope to see you there!

Major pro-life bill pending at state Capitol;
Ask legislators to support HB 1595

Please send an email to your state senator and state representative at the Capitol in Oklahoma City and urge them to support House Bill 1595.

The bill is an abortion-reporting bill that will measure the prevalence of abortion in Oklahoma, the reasons abortions are sought, and the complications that result. The bill will also monitor compliance with our existing abortion statutes, and will prohibit abortions performed for purposes of sex-selection.

HB 1595 is the principal pro-life priority for the 2009 legislative session. The bill's authors are Representative Dan Sullivan and Senator Todd Lamb.

You can identify your state senator and state representative by going to our website, www.OKForLife.com. On the upper left side, click on ID Your Legislators. Type your address, then scroll down to the fourth entry for your state senator's email address, and the fifth entry for your state representative's email address.

Thank you for contacting your state legislators and asking them to support this important pro-life bill.