Forgiving the Little Things...

Happy couples forgive the little things easily. In other words, they give their partners the benefit of the doubt. Forgiving the little things is a willingness to cut your partner some slack when he makes small mistakes, including those moments when he isn't being particularly polite or sensitive. This doesn't mean that you are excusing bad behavior or even being silent about it. It does mean that you're able to look past small mistakes and able to remember that your partner is still a good person.

If you're having trouble forgiving the little things, try these attitude adjustments:

1. Consider the circumstances, rather than blaming your partner. When we make mistakes, we have a tendency to blame extenuating circumstances. When others make mistakes, we tend to attribute the mistake to a character flaw. For the small mistakes, give your partner the benefit of the doubt. If your partner is in a bad mood, consider the possibility that he or she may be upset about something that he or she feels is important, or the possibility that your partner is ill, hungry, tired or overworked. Our relationships get into trouble when we begin to label our partners negatively. If you can empathize and remember that your partner is a good person, your relationship will be better for it.
   
2. Consider your own mood at the time. It's possible that you may be viewing the world more negatively because you are ill, hungry, tired or overworked, or upset about something important. Ask yourself, "If I was in a better mood, would I view this situation differently?"
3. Consider the possibility that conflict and negativity has been escalating for a while. Maybe your partner did hurt you on purpose, because you hurt him on purpose last week, and you hurt him on purpose last week because of some nasty comment he made the day before. Realize that your escalation is moving you farther and farther apart. It's not getting you anywhere and both of you are becoming less and less happy. Make a decision to end the cycle. Agree to a truce if possible. Even if your partner never knows you're doing it, if you begin to treat your partner with thoughtfulness and consideration, it is likely that, in time, he or she will respond in kind to you as well. This is easier said than done, I know, but it can be done. If you want your relationship to become more satisfying, you have to begin planting positivity. Over time, you'll very likely reap what you sow.
   

Update

Dear friends and family,
Life has been busy lately, as the Mrs. Oklahoma Pageant is less than two weeks away! I have pictures to post and entries to write, but I haven't had the time to update my blog lately. Thank you for continuing to read if you are reading this!

In the last few weeks, I have visited with Mrs. Mills' 5th grade class. I have been teaching Forever. For Real. on Monday evenings at St. Gregory's University and Thursday nights at Family & Children's Services on Peoria. I also taped a public service announcement for the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative at New Day Media (I can't wait to post it!). I visited the Mrs. Missouri pageant and attended the Tulsa concert of OK Mozart's Spring Concert Tour. I've also been working on the developmental psychology component of the most recent revision to our training materials for Blended Love's teachers and volunteers. It has been exciting and fun, and I have met many wonderful and interesting people, including many who support my platform and want to help OMI and Blended Love. I have learned so much and look forward to writing about my experiences and the results of my research here.

I've also been taking care of the final details for Mrs. Oklahoma. I can't believe the pageant is only two weeks away! I'm not as fit as I would like to be, but I'm doing my best to prepare, focusing on my strengths, and keeping my values and beliefs in mind. I don't believe a contestant will win when she is trying to be someone she's not. I'm getting ready to share my heart with the judges, contestants, and staff, and keeping everything in perspective. God's will be done! All things happen for a reason, and all things work together for good for those who love Him. I'm ready for whatever He has in store for me, and I'm looking forward to spending time with my amazing fellow contestants and our husbands, and enjoying our state pageant experience.

I better run now! I'm so sleepy. Thank you for reading. I will post more pictures, journal entries about my latest appearances, and articles soon.

Good night, friends!